Diary 7th January 2016

I’m in a restaurant of the worst service in my life. Initially, I see singing about gay people like a laugh or whatever. I ignore and sit down with my mates. We have a great meal except main meal in which one of my mates asks the waitresses where is it. In the meantime, the waiters start stripping tease which was hot. Mmmm n yet I felt nothing. Is it cause the appropriateness of the action. Cause I went to the gay party then but was told to go back or I was given dirty looks. However, there was one strip tease that got me going thou, hahaha in which he starts to use a scissor to rip his undies. mmmm

I slept until about 3am, in which I had the above dream. Then afterwards, I just laid awake with my legs paining me. so with that in mind, I eventually got up for to get ready for to take down Dad’s decorations with him. So my sis n I were collected. Had a bit of grub. Then we got to work,  Afterwards, Both my sis n I headed on home. 

Diary 7th January 2016

I’m in a restaurant of the worst service in my life. Initially, I see singing about gay people like a laugh or whatever. I ignore and sit down with my mates. We have a great meal except main meal in which one of my mates asks the waitresses where is it. In the meantime, the waiters start stripping tease which was hot. Mmmm n yet I felt nothing. Is it cause the appropriateness of the action. Cause I went to the gay party then but was told to go back or I was given dirty looks. However, there was one strip tease that got me going thou, hahaha in which he starts to use a scissor to rip his undies. mmmm
I slept until about 3am, in which I had the above dream. Then afterwards, I just laid awake with my legs paining me. so with that in mind, I eventually got up for to get ready for to take down Dad’s decorations with him. So my sis n I were collected. Had a bit of grub. Then we got to work,  Afterwards, Both my sis n I headed on home.
So then afterwards, I headed on to sleep as a failure of lack of sleep previously.

Diary 3rd January 2016

Well today was quiet, heheeh and at the same time emotive hence my self harm.

So I eventually got up after a dream of whereby Mom asks me to take over the decorations from now on. And I wouldn’t mind that I was looking at the lights that are up NOW, does this suggest, that this dream will come alive in REALITY, you never know. hahaha

So that said then I headed on off  to visit my sis. hehehe. ON the way I went to get my little salad yolk I love. mmmmm. I then continued onto my sis. Whereby she loved my pressie to her. heheeheh. When I arrived, Mom left me some dinner UNCOOKED, of which I took as a total insult. So I gave it to my sis. I couldn’t think for a sec why she did this. I thought it was because one of the relatives had read my blog or something. But the a “penny drops” But then my sis put a “finger on”, or whatever, when she pointed out that on New Years Day meal, I was very quiet or whatever but apparently slurred speech. This was due to the night before events. I got drunk to try and block out the memorys of Stephen’s Day. So while pissing as I described before, I hold my Jnr in my left hand of which normally I use my other hand, and the right hand in my mouth biting it like the sleeve. I went even further.

Diary 1st January 2016 – New Years Day

PS THIS POST CONTAINS GRAPHIC CONTENT

Well today was not bad a day. After last night’s celebrations, of which my main aim was to try and forget what my pops said to my sis n I back on Stephen’s Day. So afterwards,  I got up after MORE lack of sleep for a dinner with Mom, Dad, Maureen and my sis. The Mulligans were up their when we arrived. heheeh. They were heading on up to Eileens for a meal or something. hehehhe.

So then after the meal, we all dispersed. I headed for my 24hr sleep. Which is quite true when you think about it. hahaha.

One of the dreams that I had was that I’m with a friend in a classroom or some building. The friend is shot several times in front of my eyes. I then am questioned by the cops as to what exactly happened. One of the questionings, I’m at a tourism item my Mom on some boat or about to hope on one that shows us Flowers on the tour. While writing one of the explanations on paper, for the cops, I break down, with my paper in front of my face hiding my emotions. So it is with great regret that Mom n I have to let the tourism boat to someone else.

Then thoughts arrived of which one was to go and ask my sis for advise on Sleepers as she calls em, then another horrific one is as follows:

A severe thought enters my brain when I recall my drink being spiked or at least being worried about it. Then afterwards  I then wakeup with a gun to my head when I wanna escape. 2 girls r raping me. One sticks a thread down the slit of my penis while the other is sucking it. Then I attempt to escape but the gun is still on my forehead. So somehow I escape naked. Wanting someone to run me over doesn’t work so I attempt to jump off Luke Kelly bridge. However realising no ones around I walk into the Mater naked  and scream that I was raped by two lesbians. So in the meantime I puncture something in my arm and have at it by means of scissoring the skin.

I have noticed thou that I have been failing to sleep immediately the way I used to. I had buckets of blankeies on me, not even that did the job. So I put Kathleen and my Sammy atop me. OH it made me feel loved again. heheeheh

Another thought that I had is that for 2016, I just need to know truthfully why I was given up. SO for the “truthful” as much as possible. The minute Maureen gives me the number. I will ring the person who was in charge of the foster process. I understood she was in contact with Marina. heehhe. So my next Puppys or whatever I’ll be getting will be called Marina. ie my Birth Mom’s name.