Diary 7th December 2015

While looking at Sunday AM, they did a peace on ChristmasFM. The Christmas Radio whereby they only play Christmas tunes. I remember there was one Christmas, whereby I was playing the Christmas tunes, WHILE putting up my decorations in my old bedroom at home, at the same time from Christmas FM, possibly also the song Winter’s Tale as well while I went down to dinner or something.

Well what a wholeheartedly emotional today turned out to be.

First off was a user on my Facebook account, got me blocked for so called profanity. ie,, So my sis or my self posted a pic of an puppy or something like that. This user posted in HER native tongue, which is a pet peave of mine, that I HATE. So after awhile, I replied to her, firstly DEFENDING my sis’ honour and secondly that I hate when someone speak THEIR native tongue, expecting us to Google Translate. The fact thou she has PLENNY of English, yet she had the gaulls to speak in her tongue”!!!!, So when I confronted her, I logged back onto Facebook and I was told that my comment had been reported for Profanity or whatever and that I would be blocked for 3 Days from posting. THEN I tried Poking. Same to no avail. !!!!!.

Then it was time to start my day, just before I headed to my appointment of Employment’s Support Officer Christine, I received a letter from Social Welfare stating that my rate for Illness Benefit is  €84.50. Now thats a hella lot lower than my original rate.  So then I continued onto the appointment. Christine asked me how’s tricks. So I just had to let rip what was going on. She just didn’t know what to say. She recommended that I go to Citizenship Information Center in O’ Connell St., for advice etc., and to investigate about the Supplement Welfare Allowance.

So armed with this information, I then rang my sis and my Mom. Mom invited me up to there place for to settle this once and for all. Its been going on far too long. So then I got started by heading up to Mom and Dads BUT with doing my errands first.

Firstly was to go to An Post to check if their was any cash AND to get stamps. No surprise there was NO cash. So I got my stamps. Then I rushed back home, and then got and posted my cards. Then afterwards, I headed up to Mom n Dad’s. Mom was going to collect my sis when I had arrived. I had told Dad, that the sleeves were getting the worse of the treatment and the towellys. To the point they ain’t being worn anymore in public let alone his house. The whole time I was up there, I was being treated as if I returned back tot eh family tree. ie when I had blocked Mom n Dad previously and I’d come back, that I would be welcomed back and treated as such. So the whole day we were balancing between Decorations AND sorting my issue out as well. So Mom drove my sis and I to Social Welfare in Kings Inn St., My sis and I were for once treated to a lovely guy. He explained everything. Few questions still hanging. But still its something. So we headed back. Filled out the Supplemental Welfare Allowance form. So hopefully that’ll come through. Now my sis and I calculated a few things. It was confirmed that yes indeed I will be getting €84.50 + my Rent Allowance has now been added back. I collect him at the post office and the €84 will be sent to the bank automatic. So adding €84 + €77 will get my €161. Still missing out on €101. So hopefully I’ll be able to get it. So the Supplemental Welfare Allowance will balance it for me. Then afterwards, Dad and I got MY decorations down. hhaahaha. So Mom left them down to myselace. heheeheh.

Diary 7th November 2015

PS This post contains NSFW content by means of self harm and suicidality. ie TRIGGER

Well as you can gather no improvement on my thoughts. So my last thought before I actually got up was to butcher meself depending on Maureen’s answer, if she remembers a black guy in eh orphanage and if she does, then I would butcher meself like a carcass, like the way they yank the skin thing off before the meat in question and it hanging off and then somehow getting up to the hospital. I attempt to put toilet paper, as I don’t have any bandages. But low and behold I saw Sammy his ass facing me, and I said to myself I wanna see his face , hahah. So I played with BOTH Patch n Sammy. ehehhe and my Ducky and my Sleevenies, hehehehe. So that got my suicidality and self harm, more so self harm thoughts away.

So I got up and rang Maureen my Aunt to find out if she remembers the Black guy who was in my dreams a few months ago, as expected she couldn’t remember. So then I got up showered and watched the news. My sis popped down for some downloading.

I then headed out with a view of seeing Edmund, head of Vegan Ireland and Evelyn and the french woman GLoria(Glo) and then onto Pan(Review here) and then to folks as Ailish and Noel are away to mind Noeleen and Andrew’s kids as they themselves are celebrating their 17th ANniversary in Rome, funnily where they got married initially. ahahah.

So then I headed onto Edmund and saw them at the table to protest against Fur, as per every Saturday afternoon. Then afterwards, the 4 of us, Edmund, Glo, Evelyne and myself headed onto Cornucopia. heheh. I had a beautiful Vegan Chocolate FUdge Cake. It was so scrumptious and heaven. hahha. We were chatting away, I was chatting with GLo, and before you know it, time caught up with us and as such, I wasn’t able to get a pressie AND the cinema in at all. The pressoe, was well too late. And then cinema indeed hahaah. We were chatting about her course which brought great memories back from my college days. However with programming!!!!. Like although I love it an all, I just can’t hack it in a business environment.

So I headed on up to Mom n Dad’s directly. heehehe. I was joined by my sis. We had a nice meal. ehheh. hhahaaLooked at TV etc.,

Diary 4th November 2015

Today, as I had no plans of going out, I decided to stay up a bit and do a bit of recording. hahah.

I was looking at the Dubliners Vicar St concert. Well by George did it bring some fond memories, some painful but fond. Depending. Now what I mean by that is, that I was singing a song, and I dedicated it to Martin Mulligan(Kathleen’s hubbie). Had rush thoughts of Michael Doherty looking at my video on Youtube, and making a mockery of while passing it around to others on New Years Eve kidna. How he gets hold of it is, that I email it to him, WHICH I will be doing so, eitherway. hahaha.

The other was after Sabrina, was a music video from Lady Gaga – Bad Romance. Now again more painful memories came back as I was singing the song, the Take 2, ahahah. Which as I explained in the video that my ex and I were picking “our song” etc., etc.,