Diary 9th Febraury 2016 – Pancake TUesday(Shrove Tuesday)

Well after a dream of whereby I leave my Cineworld card behind while I’m very close to the cinema, and then also my Dad’s friend who is currently in hospital with a Brain ANurism. In the dream, he dies and I of course cry my eyes out in reality.

So then eventually I got up, as I had a few errands to do, such as getting a card for my dad’s Sister in Law Maura(Dad’s brother’s wife). I went to Scribbles first to get the pressie and card. heheeheh. I saw a few teddies, of interest, hmmm. However with the price tag, I said I’d leave it.

So that said I then headed off to the GP to get my Medical Cert. However as time was not on my side, the GP was closed which I was shocked as I thought it’d be closed around 6ish, it actually closes around half 5.

So then I headed on into town to get my sis’ teddys she wanted. Then I was looking everywhere for Vegan Pancakes. So I popped into Holland and Barretts in Ilac Centre and the sales person told me, that there’s no such thing, as Veganism ain’t as popular as Vegetarianism. However that said, I can still make them BUT I want it READY-MADE. hahahaah. Then afterwards, I then headed on up towards my folks. I had gotten a voicemail of my Mom, to come up to them for to have Pancakes as today is Pancake Tuesday aka Shrove Tuesday. I was looking everywhere for Pancakes and this reminded me of Sabrina who “I want Pancakes”, hahahaah. Mom reminded how Pancake Tuesday came about. It is a Christianity thing, whereby people give up something or do something they’ve been putting off on the long finger. In relation to Pancakes itself, its a starter to Lent whereby they eat everything before they begin the actual fasting at hand. Quite interesting to learn. haaha. Then I headed on off to my sis. We looked at Mike and Molly. Great comedy. hahaah

Diary 28th September 2015

As per my normal weekly schedule I stayed up.

I was watching TV. Two and A Half Men, Everybody Loves Raymond and Will & Grace.

While watching TV, I got a call from Mom. I also got a call from Dad relating to the citizenship. I didn’t see the point in replying as I’ll be seeing him on Wed anyways. heheeh.

While doing my TV recordings etc., I was checking my Games requests on my Gaming account on FB, and it only came up with errors. So far it has lasted about 15mins or so but it lasted almost an hr. This has just been confirmed on my Tweeter account from RTE News.

I was getting my dinner. And decided to try the Tofu sausages. I was gonna upload to the Vegan group, but as I didn’t enjoy em, I decided against it. haha

So instead of FB(never realised my such reliance on FB – hahahaha) I did my dishes,


It has been announced(well more so speculated), that Pope Francis will make a Papal Visit to Ireland in 2018. The World of Family will be held in Dublin. So traditionally the Pope has always in the past always visited the World of Family event. This years World of Family was held in Philadelphia this year. 

Alexander Pacteau, who was jailed for the murder of Karen Buckley in Glasgow, Scotland, maybe RETried, if there’s new evidence found. It was found that he had raped in the past.

Diary 19th October 2014

After sleeping quite a number of hours, I got up. I got a call from my sis saying that Mom n Dad n herself obv, are heading out for a meal. I was a bit apprehensive at first. Then I said yeah, I would go.

So we all headed out to Regency Hotel restaurant(Review here). On the way, I wanted to show Mom my puppies on the phone. However the phone is very sensitive ty in that touch anything other items might appear etc., So with that, I threw up my puppies, and low and behold with Mom being so figgity, she touched the screen and my pic of me in my undies appeared. Well, I never,  the embarrassment that I came out with. heheeh.

I compare Water Charge to Abortion in terms of the controversy. In the Dáil etc., So Mom asked me if I was for Water Charge or against. I said I was against, as I literally don’t have the cash. Then I went on to say the way the Govt brought it in was horrible arsed. We all had a great laugh. We were discussing Dad’s lappy, in that its been misbehavin’ of late. So after the meal, we headed back home to Mom and Dad’s gaf. Dad wanted to send an email to Jim(The guy I failed to show up recently for. As in my Dad’s relatives). My sis and I had told our folks, that its Jane’s Birthday today, ie Jim’s wife. My sis had said that she has aged. So Mom wanted to see her on Facebook. I logged in. Me shaking in my booths with both my folks looking at my content. So I then searched for Jane, couldn’t find her. etc., etc., So to make a long story short, we just left it. I along with my sis Dad left us back.

So then I headed on towards my sis. I got my cell phone topup. Then eventually


The Synod, has ended with Pope Paul VI being beatified, and in the controversial document that said that gays “have quailtys to share with the christian community”. The controversial was rejected after it failed to get 21/3 majority. Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI has been made Cardinal. The former Pope is just one step away from Sainthood.

  • Pope Paul VI led the Catholic Church form ’63 – ’78.
  • He was born Giovanni Montini, in Lombardi, Italy 1897
  • Ordained a Priest when he was 23
  • Became Archbishop of Milan
  • He was chosen as Pope in 1963 after becoming Archbishop of Milan
  • He presided over the Final Stages of the 2nd Vatican Council
  • He is remembered on reinforce the Churches Ban on Artificial Contraception on which Pope Francis current agrees.
  • Pope Paul VI was the most traveled pope of his time. First trip was to the Holy Land in 1964. This visit included an historic meeting with the Greek Orthodox Patrioarch in Jerusalem.
  • Died in 1978 in the Papal Palace of Castel Gandolfo (Papal Summer Residence)

Diary 13th October 2014

I was due to go to the last PDC Course last night ie Monday night, however as I wasn’t in the mood, I didn’t bother. I was going to go after the break, but was too late. So I just left it.

While getting ready for my hibernation after clearing the Sky Box with preparation for Budget 2015 RTE’s coverage. While playing with my Puppies, I exclaim to myself”Human’s lie to each other, causes conflicts” etc.,etc., So much evil in this world. As my puppies, can’t talk, likewise my inflatables, blankies, and scarfies my Mental Health will be in safe hands. Otherwise my mental health will always be compromised due to my sensitiveness.

So then I got to sleep and had quite a dream. I’m meeting a group of people for a meal in a restaurant. As I live and breed, Dad, Eileen and Brendan are having a meal right beside my cubicle too. Then I move onto apply for some Government thing. Then I move back to a house, where i’m getting food. Fish and chips are taken out of freezer. As I’m a Vegetarian turning Vegan. I see Maura Coffey(My Dad’s sister in law) there too.

My sis and I are in my Dad’s car along with Mum and Dad(duhhh – he’s the one driving – heeheh) are going to someplace. My sis gets agitated when we have to pass Dolores(Mom’s school friend) and Ailish’s(My sis’ nemis, my Mom’s Sister’s Daughter) gaf.

Next am on a horse, riding to someplace, whereby am entering a DIY store. I make note of several beams vandalizes and other times broken with too high a lorry.


A document from the Vatican, has urged OTHER Christian’s to accept Gay people. Quoting the letter: “Homosexuals have gifts and qualities to offer the Christian community”. Gay Rights all over the world, in particular Ireland. GLEN(Gay and Lesbian Eqauilaity Network.

Diary 18th September 2014

Well I haven’t slept yet. heheheeh.

I was to meet my friend Seamus, of whom I haven’t seen in years. Due to my depression and my coming out I had unfreinded him. I didn’t want any straight people in my life at the time. I had been involved with a Youth group called 20Somethings. A Religion group where we go on pilgrimages etc., I was involved in with them briefly. The last time I was with teh group was we were to go on a Pilgrimage to Isarel ie Holy Land. However when I told my Mom, she said NO WAY. We met in Bushfield the hotel on Kildare St. Then I met him I think before the group or after, for a cuppa in Bewleys on Grafton St., That’s the last time I recall seeing him. WE of course were on Facebook since then. I had removed him as I said above for mental health reasons.

So I met up with him at the Cone(That’s what I like to call the Spire(Monument of Light)). I just find the cone name so cute. heheheeh. We then met up and headed on over to Starbucks. I was trying to remember the name of the drink that my friend Vincent from Foursquare. He had posted on his account a drink that I never heard of and it had something like Early Grey Tea. I looked nervously while the sales guy looking at me. So I let someone else ahead of us. Seamus got his stuff, and I eventually found it. I asked if they had Matcha Tea(No they didn’t have that) then I eventually found the drink I was looking for. London Fog. It consists of Earl Grey Tea and Vanilla Syrup. Then later on, I had the Vegetarian Pesto sandwich. We chatted and chatted for hours. I had told him that while int he toilet, that I noticed the lighting was of neon lighting. To get into the toilet, we needed a code which was on the ticket. Clever i says. THen the lighting was very neon as I said, and I of course understand why. Its used to catch drug users etc., However it would give a fit for an epileptic person. NO QUESTION. Then he was telling me the guy who’s in his Seamus’ group and is GAY and yet is AGAINST Gay Marriage. Personally I don’t quite understand it why. Like your Gay and your DENYING yourself the basic human right. and that is the Basic Human Right of To LOVE. So after chatting for several hours, I actually CONNECTED with him, its like we were meant to be best buddies. He’s definitely on my Christmas Cards Lists. hahaah.

While I was with Seamus, I got a call from Mom, of which I missed, so I attempted to ring her back. Bottomline, I rang Dad and he said “Call up to us, WE HAVE THINGS TO DISCUSS”. I was frightened the shite of me life. I thought he was gonna enforce the getting rid of my Beloved Inflatables etc., I headed home to charge my phone for a bit. Then headed on up. But as it happens, they are still adamant that I move out. Cause now I’ve a new complaint. My Jnr(WINK, WINK p His name’s Georgian Jnr.) in thtat its itchy. My sis told me its thrush. I said I have’tn had sex in years. Oh don’t get me wrong, I have been trying haaha. But its actually from my gaf. So they have set a plan. BUT I’m still adamant on having Sky with me, IF I EVER MOVE that is.

Diary 8th September 2014

Well what a night it has been. I first got up at around 6ish after 2 half hour sleep. It was my first day at a course I had applied for a few weeks ago. Its called the Personal Development Course being held at the Outhouse. It is funded by the Dublin’s Gay Switchboard and the Gay Men Health Service(The crowd that diagnosed me with Hepatitis B)

So I set about heading off on my first night course. I wasn’t one bit nervous on the way. In fact, I was looking for the house that Yurean(The guy I met at the DublinFreeWHeelers event).  I got talking to Yurean yesterday via WhatsApp. Now I ain’t sure whether he knows am gay or whatever. But the fact that I had a profile pic of an undies pic? yeahhhhh. So he just gave me his house number. Which I don’t quite understand. So Then I had actually passed it.

So anyways I arrived at Outhouse. I got my cuppa tea, as my breath was horrible. By cuppa tea, I actually mean Peppermint Green tea. And later on Raspberry Tea. Bernard then checked me into the list. I headed on up to the Red Room. There were about 13 or so others there. Dave the guy behind the counter was there too. So at least a familiar face. I was getting increasingly nervous, my heart pumping.

So then the two men Tony and …. were the two presenters. We the students(lightly put) were lsitening. Its a course that involves US. Our first exercise was to introduce ourselves and to tell them What would we like to get out of the course and how we heard about it. My example was all garbled. I literally said it in such a state that I was nonsensical. So what I told them and the group of course, was that Maureen(My aunt – the Nun one), had popped into the Outhouse when I was coming out at the time and had asked them that my nephew is having a hard time coming out, if they could recommend anything. They recommended this particular course. I misinterpreted as that they wanted me to go into Psychiatric care for being gay.

Our next item was a little game. Whereby we got into a circle, and CLOSING our eyes, that we just shout out numbers WITHOUT repeating. And if there was a repetition that we would move back out of the circle. now I GRAVE and GREAT difficulty in closing my eyes. I’ve never experienced such. Then again, when ever I’m told to close my eyes, I’ve always NOT been able to keep em closed. They some how always kept opening. But tonight, I was under severe stress and strain, in trying to keep em closed. Guys I never said or told anyone, that this course would be easy, in particularly my homophobia, MAY be rehased. I ain’t sure. I’ve only done 1 class out of 6.

I loved the idea of the or the ananlgy of the “Fridge” conecpt. THey had a drawing  board and “Fridge” papter. Whereby any ideas put on the the “Fridge” paper, that it would be revisisited the next class or wahtever.

Our next item was what was the group execteatin of the course.

  • Sharing Experience
  • Achieveing stronger of understanding of self interation with other men in group
  • Feel happier amongst urself
  • I contributed to this particaurlar item, whereby I said that if for whatever reason that I would be TRIGGERED, cuase I was on the verge of it. Consdiernign I had enoguh crap from my friends behavior last week etc., I didn’t need anymore. E.g when I said the psychiatric e.g from my Aunt that was about to trigger me. So my point, would da course be able to curtail the triggers.

Next, What IS Personal Development.

Strive in Self Discovering. As my device(Sammy 2 where I was taking notes – was acting up), I missed a bit of this section of the class.

We were then asked to describe terms that relate to “Gay”/”Bisexual”

  • Faggot(TOO Well Known to me – and everyone else hahaha)
  • Steamer(Never heard of it)
  • Shift lifter(Never heard of it)
  • Cock Muncher(Never heard of it)
  • TLDNS: The Love who dare not speak his name(Never heard of it – apparently its to do with Oscar Wilde)
  • Friend
  • ARse Bandit(Recently I was called this at Gay Pride 2014)
  • Friend of Dorothy(more than likely referring to the film – The Wizard of Oz)
  • Ponce(The Look/Non Word)(Never heard of it)
  • Bum Snatcher(Never heard of it)
  • Bitch
  • Faghag(A friendly term of whereby a FEMALE is a companion to a gay man – VERY popular in the United States, kinda popular in Republic of Ireland. NOT sure about NI

Then onto DEFINITIONS of Internalised Homophobia. I found this to be of quite interesting.

Distance from Early Friendships(In my case – they chickened out)

Soften the blow of being attacked by calling the person who calls you name, the same name. E.g if a guy calls you faggot and YOU are gay, then you call him faggot, and it will diffuse the situation.

Low self Esteem/ Confidence

Avoidance of Gay venues

Wreckless sex ie Boilerhouse

There was a guy there who lived in Oz, and enjoyed every moment of it gay wise. When he moved back to Ireland, he was gobsmacked. This particular guy developed Internalised Homophobia. So I guess even from writing this blog post, has thought me that I actually HAVE Internalised Homophobia. And I don’t even say it. In my case it is in relating to the abuse I would have received in the past.

So we got onto a lighter form of the course ie POSITIVES of Being Gay

  • Meeting the wright person
  • Learn more about your family and friends
  • Love
  • IN touch with your feelings
  • can turn stereotypes
  • Its OK if you look after your appearance
  • I will survive
  • Independent
  • Beauty
  • More wittier
  • Aesthetic
  • WE can be good talkers and listeners
  • Better life
  • Expressions Sexually
  • Sexual health matters
  • Open Minded
  • Sensitive
  • Tolerant
  • Close Friends
  • Motivation

So then at the very end of the course, we were all asked to give one word, some said They felt Younger when they came out of the course, others said they feel HAPPIER now. I said Very Intriguing and inquisitive of the course.

Some were congratulated for ENTERING a gay venue ie the Outhouse for the first time. I remember the time like it was yesterday, my first time going into a gay bar ON ME OWN. It was unreal. My heart pumping etc., etc., Especially going into the Outhouse. Wow  was my heart not pumping. hahaha

So in the middle of the class, we were encouraged to go for a break. We all went down to the cafe. One of the class members Tom(I think), got talking to me. MY my, my confidence in TALKING to strangers like as in class members or etc., etc., BUY clearly I don’t react too well to GROUP sessions etc., I did eventually come out of my shell. But  talking to my peers in person to person was a cinch. So I then got talking to Richard who is a Filipino from Manila. I was most intrigued of is name. I thought his name was in a Filipino spelling BUT nope. He said its just on his Birth Cert. heheeh. So then we went back up to the room to do our last exercise, which I have outlined above. Then the class came to an end for week 1. Our first session was over. So we should be settling in quite well. hehehe. So I came back down with my Raspberry tea I got during the break to finish it off in the cafe. I bumped into Searson. Great to see him.

On the way back home, I came across Yurean’s place. So then I noticed something funny with the numbering. In that Numbers 90 DOWN to 1 is on the same ROAD as 1 to 90 on the same side. BUT with a BIG difference. Summerhill Parade AND Ballybough Road on the same road. Quite Unusual at the very least on the Numbers aspect.


Cardinal Sean Brady has stood down after Pope Francis accepted his resignation. He stood down over age grounds. His tenure has been overshadowed by controversy over the hiding of the Brendan Smith case. Archbishop Éamonn Martin now replaces Sean Brady and becomes the Roman Catholic Primate of All Ireland and Archbishop of Armagh.

Buckingham Palace has announced that the Duchess of Cambridge Kate Winslet is pregnant with a second child. I wish her the very of everything.

A young lad by the name Quaid CLeven has won an award for wanting the inclusion of EVERYONE when it comes to sign language. He wants everyone to use sign language, so that everyone “can communicate together “. He would like the Irish public to get starting on Sign Language so that the Deaf people can communicate as he puts it. Also would be ideal if the Late Late Toy Show would do the same. Thats his hopes.

RYanair have purchased for $11bn for 737 Max. It can accommodate more passengers, fuel efficient. And travel further too.