Diary 11th January 2016

Well today was quite an emotional day. So I coped with it my self-harm which as I said to my sis, that I use my sleeve BEHIND the scenes and the skin ie biting the arm when I got a chance. It all started off when my Pops collected me to objectively to go and get my printer. I was using it to go and reconnect with my pops and obviously of course to print in my place instead of my folks.

So like I said my Dad collected me, we headed on up to Airside to go and get the printer. We headed to PC World. I saw the printer I was interested in. ehehhee. Then afterwards, I wanted to get a network cable aka RJ45 for my connection between the Sky Box and the Router so that I could get my Sky Box Sets and the HD channels whcih I will add onto my subscription very soon. heheeheh. I had hoped for tomorrow, however my Payment for the week that I missed my payment of the MEdical Cert aka the Injury Benefit. hehehehe. SO we’ll see. But that said thou, that I do intend, on applying for that extra subscription, hehehe.

So conetinetueing on I saw a Hard Drive for 5TB for about €200. At first I didn’t get it, I wanted to see price wise in Harvey Norman’s. So my Dad and I headed there, and compared prices. hehehe I was most suprised thou with their prices. heheeheh. However thou it was 2TB of CLOUD storage, which I’ve no interest in at this moment in time. Then I headed back to PC World to get the HDD. In Harvey’s thou, my Dad and I looked at washing machine. heeheh. I was amazed at Harvey Norman’s staff responded when I told the staff member that the HDD was more expensive than PC WOrld’s.

So then we got a bite to eat in TravelLodge what used to be the Little Chef. I had meself a Vegetarian LAsagnae. heheeh. However the fact that it was so creamy and not forgetting the cream or maynossaie on the salad. SO yeah I had the shits for the rest of the day.

So then I headed back home with Dad to his place. Put up my decorations in the attic for Christmas. hehehe. In his place of course. Then afterwards I was joined by my sis to head to my Aunt Colette. She is currently in an Orthopaedic Hospital. As I said previously she had suffered a mini-stroke back in November of 2015. So seeing her really through me off. HOWever thou’ I greeted her by “Queen Brady”, hahaahah. But seeing her so frail or with grey hair etc., etc., I just was not prepared. Like aging etc., then to hear of my Dad’s friend with Aneurysm, so yeah as u can gather why it was an emotional day.

So I continued self-harming on my arm in Mom’s car etc., etc., even when pissing etc., So then we went back to Mom’s place to go and get a cuppa. hehehehehe. I then headed back to my place with my new printer, my new hDD etc., etc., heheheheheheh.

I also got a chance to question about my Driver’s license. As Mom wants’ me to drive again, I need my license. However I have lost it. So with that in mind, I was going to find out the procedure on Los/Stolen License. So what I’ve to do is Medical Report/Eye Sight Report and obviously firstly get my glasses fixed. hehehehe. So then I fill out an Application form with €35. hehehehe

Diary 6th January 2016 – Feast of the Epiphany(Three Wise Men visited Jesus in the Manger); Women’s Christmas

Little humour to start off the blog, hahaha, as I was writing the above Blog title, literally, I got a fit of the giggles. I recalled a quote from Mrs. Brown’s Boys Christmas Special ’14. Mrs. Brown herself says:

“Wise!!!They got fucken lost”, what a class quote from her shows.

The Feast of the Epiphany aswell as being a religious aspect is actually also a day for the women, ie Women’s Christmas or in Irish Nollaig na mBán. You may also hear down through your travels Nollaig Beag which means Little Christmas. Women’s Christmas was actually started in Co. Cork and continens to be an Irish Tradition.

And now back onto me, hheheeheh,

I struggled along to get out of bed for Social welfare, sure who would. hahaha. But that said thou I was saying to meself, could I try tomorrow Thurs, but NO cause Dad wants my sis n I for the decorations to yank your chain down, hahha, Friday assuming he wants me at least back on Friday for the outside lights, ehhehehe so that would be a no no. I said I have to get up for the sake of the payments and more so my bank. Like at the time of writing I was €189 in DR aka DR. So I proceeded to go on in and then head to see Social Welfare. I’d prefer if I didn’t but hey, nothing can be done. Besides my legs were killing me going in let alone going out. The guy then told me everything’s in order. TO come back for the final time. He proceeded to give me an envelope and went to post it. I said that I wasn’t ready for it. I’ve to get details as in Checklists ie I was to get my statements from the Bank and the Credit Union. So he told me come back with everything next week. I then asked, do I have to come in everyweek, like and he said it’ll be put into the Post Office. So he told me come back with everything and that he’ll post my DA for me. When he asked that I sign the checks ie the payments, he noted I was a leftie. heheheh. He also noted to me that If I had come back  a  day late that I would missed a payment. He was the exact same guy who clearly is gay who upset me the day I broke in front of the family. Hence why I have a +Furry Babys Stanescu called Kathleen as my mom cried into my arms comforting me.

I then proceeded to head to the bank AIB to lodge my checks in. Still worrying thou no cash will go in, but nothing can be done thou. However at the same time I went in to get my statements for the Disability Allowance. Apparently it’ll cost me €3 per page for them to send it out to me. Which is quiet bizarre. So I went to the machine however I tried it but it just gave me ONE page, so I’ll try with my NEW card and pin.

Then I went to the Credit Union for again to get Statements from the savings account I have. Only realised that the loan had been payed off in November a week before social welfare were going on about on my case. Hmmm.

So then I came back and decided to head back to sleep. Then while sleeping a memory came back of whereby I was l listing of all the home alone movies I have. Home alone 3 I was studying it r whatever I had watched it when I came back from a boat trip on the StenaHSS. We went over to Holyhead, Wales,UK. In a cold wet Nov. We looked around. I bought r whoever a PC Game on a Floppy disk 💾 god b the days. It was a Christmas 🎅 quiz game 🎮   there was a question about Wet wet wet a music band.

I then woke up for a few hours to do the last two Home Alone films. heheehh

Then just as I wake up I gave myself a horrible trigger point whereby when I recalled Social Welfare upsetting me on Wed 23rd and Mom comforting me. Then in the thought, I rush out wanting to cry further, however Dad being obsessed with his Christmas Lights Bulbs, warns me not to step on the ligts as at the time in reality my sis and my Dad were doing up the lights when Mom n I came back. I accidentally or whatever step on one of them. Then Dad gets angry and I squabble up or crumble to a pancake kinda shape ie embryo more so. I scream “get away from me”. He then opens up and says come I want to hug you. So I in my infinite wisdom, actually go up and get hugged, however he continues to squeeze me rendering me breathless and then breaks my spinal chord in half. And then throws away my body like a rag doll down the bottom of the garden. My sis and Mom witness this and exclaim to the Emergency Services that “I have witnessed an actual murder”. Remember “A life is NOT replaceable whereas , Christmas Light Bulb IS replaceable”. So then I was putting on my Onesie, and I grabbed my sleeve and had at it and of course my arm while I was in teh toilet too. I was describing I use sleeves more so than arms. The arm is for private self harm or where no one is looking and the sleeve is ONLY for those who don’t judge me ie my sis.

Diary 5th January 2016

Today was fairly cool, cept the self harm, but hey, nothing’s new there. hahah.

So then my sis arrived down for her traditional downloading, and more important to see Santi, Snowy and their pappy Father Christmas +Inflatables Stanescu.

Then I was to do my traditional Social Welfare financing etc., So my first port of call was to collect my Medical Cert, then onto An Post to collect my Rent Allowance which would help bring down my DR ie debt with the bank. Then I continued onto Store St., to drop in my Medical Cert. Then I decided to pop into Peadar who works in SmallChanges to hand in his card. heheeh. I never knew he had Irish. Was wonderful.  heheheeh.

So after my errands, I then headed back drenched head to toe to my sis in my place. We then headed off to her place. On the way, I got a few crisps AND my lovely Pinenuts Salad. mmmm.

Diary 3rd January 2016

Well today was quiet, heheeh and at the same time emotive hence my self harm.

So I eventually got up after a dream of whereby Mom asks me to take over the decorations from now on. And I wouldn’t mind that I was looking at the lights that are up NOW, does this suggest, that this dream will come alive in REALITY, you never know. hahaha

So that said then I headed on off  to visit my sis. hehehe. ON the way I went to get my little salad yolk I love. mmmmm. I then continued onto my sis. Whereby she loved my pressie to her. heheeheh. When I arrived, Mom left me some dinner UNCOOKED, of which I took as a total insult. So I gave it to my sis. I couldn’t think for a sec why she did this. I thought it was because one of the relatives had read my blog or something. But the a “penny drops” But then my sis put a “finger on”, or whatever, when she pointed out that on New Years Day meal, I was very quiet or whatever but apparently slurred speech. This was due to the night before events. I got drunk to try and block out the memorys of Stephen’s Day. So while pissing as I described before, I hold my Jnr in my left hand of which normally I use my other hand, and the right hand in my mouth biting it like the sleeve. I went even further.

Diary 31st December 2015 – New Year’s Eve

Today was alrite.

So that said, I didn’t go near social welfare in Kings Inn St., I was due to go on Wed 30th aka yesterday. So then I was between two minds of whether or not I go out or not. As I was enjoying my night in bed. heeheh. However that said thou, that I was actually in bed last year, so this year I said I’d get out. heheeh

So my first port of call was to get cash, as I hadn’t collected my Supplemental Welfare Allowance. So I then headed to the Post Office with a view of withdrawing my funds then to the bank etc., However it wasn’t to be, as the Post Office told me as its New Year’s Eve, that I won’t be able to get anything from my account. So I decided that I go and use the funds from the Rent Allowance and replace that with the other.

So then I went to Tescos and Scribbles to get Kathleen a pressie. I then was supposed to drop my form the Medical Cert to Social Welfare in Store St., As I had forgotten I just headed home. On the way home, I realsied I left my Hat behind, so that I said its cool I’ll collect it tomorrow. Even thou its bitterly cold. So that said I then realsied that I left my bag behind. NOW that I needed it badly as my cash is in there. So I was on my way back up when I got the call. being Mom herself, then I got my bag back. Just as I was at my friend’s Emil’s street, I heard a fall of a bottle or something. I said I’d ignore it. A car beeped at me. Then When I looked behind it was Maudy’s chocolates she gave me. So I had to trawl ALL the way back up. hahha.

So I came back to record films. Namely Bee The Movie AND Behind The Candelabra. hhehehe. Then I headed onto my night out. Firstly thou I headed to shower then I headed on. I headed to Panti as I said to my folks previously onto my local. hahahah. Half hour walk local. heheeh. Then I got my drinks, danced the night away. Throughout the night I had several thoughts of self harm of which I manage to get in WITHOUT anyone looking. However the high light of  the night was when I got a selfie with PANTI. Oh boi. and not forgetting of course Vincent. He’s a vegetarian, gay with his fella. I FINALLY got to meet him. I last “saw” him the last time back earlier. It was my birthday celebrations. I saw him in the Front lounge. One person I NEVER excepted to see thou was Tiffany who is Transgender who runs the Outhouse(My second home – ahahah). She and I are not best if palsies tbh. She was there with a friend or partner. I aint sure. Then on the way home, I wanted to just literally bang my head against a post ie “walking into one”, however Dublin has gotten awfully like New York, in that the “City that never sleeps”. The whole night I felt the Smirnoff Vodka in question was off. SO horrible. But the price of it, I drank it. I then ordered Mojito and Sex on the Beach. mmmm to both. The Double Vodka and Coke was lovely thou.