PS This post contains NSFW content by means of self harm and suicidility. ie TRIGGER
While last night’s sleep wasn’t as bad as the previous night’s, it most sure was no better. I endured, such traumatic events again and again and again. I endured more harrowing dreams and more so thoughts this time round. Like one of the thoughts, would be when I’m with my folks, that I go up and tell em that I’ve been raped by the guy in Romania. It has been made clearer to me that its a very strong possibility that I have may have been molested. So in so telling em this, I react very bad like a maniac in terms of crying constantly and braking plates etc., Then another thought would be that I be on the edge of the River Liffey, And in so doing I ring Barry whom I hold dearly as a very well respected friend and of course my sis. They both meet each other to state that “I’m sorry to meet you under the current circumstances”, while attempting to save me I hold onto a pole but the wind whisks me in, and somehow I end up in Vincent’s Hosp. I again react badly when staff attempt to touch me. I ask them what you give me, they tell me Haloperidol. Then another is that I kill myself cause I ate meat, despite giving several hundreds to animal charities and sanctuaries etc., So inso doing I give my family a letter stating that “I couldn’t look at other Vegans etc., and tell them I ate an animal by accident. I couldn’t even live with myself”. Something like that. Then another would be that I put up on FB that I just can’t deal with all of this dreams etc., etc., and tagging Curt, My sis etc., etc.,
Today wasn’t too busy. I was meant to go to a Meetup in Dublin Food CO-Op. As I didn’t have enough for the event, I decided to skip it. More so I couldn’t get outta bed. hahha.
So with that, I took to the bed for a few hours. With this came not bad dreams, but confusing too. One being my sis’ puppys in a mine kinda place. I know for a fact she has them with her, but the cream which I now know she has, I could take and keep.
Another being, I’m at a cliff edge with another guy whereby we are expecting device, and we take it aboard.
Then finally which was most weirdest, to date, whereby I’m in a new home, with more than one rooms etc., AND my +Puppys Stanescu has joined me BUT NO +Inflatables Stanescu wonder what happened to them in my dreams??? hahaha
One of the Tech articles I was reading, brought great memories or whatever u having urself, hahaha. Microsoft a few years ago was handed down a ruling by the European Commission whereby the Company must provide its Windows Operating Systems’s Users a Browser Choice. Apparently this was to go on for 5 years from 2009 – 2014. So now user’s would be faced to choose a browser they wish to use, but NOW after 2014, Microsoft can go back to Offering Internet Explorer as its own. And as the article says “Until they discovered Google Chrome”
It was my intention to meet up with Maureen today. Now considering I wouldn’t have slept or whatever. This was my plan in terms of sleep. I would stay awake and look at TV etc., after the sleep out and then head to my sis etc., Then meet up with Maureen THEN go to bed to catch up on lost sleep. However it wasn’t to be, as I was physically exhausted from the Mental Health protest/march as I was falling asleep at the computer while looking at the TV after I came home from the sleep out. aka the News. hahaha. So instead I went to sleep for a few hours last night and then to my sis, as per schedule. So I cancelled Maudy yesterday and I’ll be seeing her on Thurs.
So it’ll be a TV Day as per norm. hahaha
Maureen popped down with some grub,, Was great to see her. heheeheh. She thought my hair was curly. I just said that my sis did it up for me last night. hahaah. Great laugh.
While looking at One Foot in the Grave and seeing Richard Wilson who plays Victor Meldrew, I looked him up to see what’s he up to . heheheh. Then I found not only is he for gay rights, but that he came out as gay a few years ago back in ’13. I never knew. hahaah.
My sis came down for some downloading. Then who should I see on the TV on Cheers, but none other than Senator John Kerry MA, who NOW is Foreign Secretary for the United States. I am gobsmacked.
So first I find out Richard Wilson who played Victor Meldrew came out Gay, and now Senator John KErry was a special appearance in Cheers. Wow, what a night so far. haahaahh